Mirror mirror on the wall...

Tanu Talwar|Updated: Jan 13, 2009, 04:24 PM IST

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In an age, when the entire nation is raving about Aamir’s 8-pack abs, Kareena’s size-zero figure, Akshay’s hot-bod toned to perfection and John Abraham’s cute butt, Bollywood celebrities have become the latest authority on fashion gyan.

In an age, when the entire nation is raving about Aamir’s 8-pack abs, Kareena’s size-zero figure, Akshay’s hot-bod toned to perfection and John Abraham’s cute butt, Bollywood celebrities have become the latest authority on fashion gyan. But while these celebs were a visual treat, there were certain stars, who left our eyes sore, tongues wagging and throats dry. And here is one warning we would like to issue in public interest that never (and we mean it) take any fad advice from the following: Vidya Balan A fashion designer’s worst nightmare, Vidya `Balloon` errr... Balan is one challenge every fashion guru is scared to take up. The lady with her flabby self and bulky frame has the word ‘HELP’ written all over her. While the other B-town beauties scorched the ramp, Vidya was kept miles away from the designer’s ‘Mecca’. No amount of convincing from filmmakers and designers could make this heavy weight actress shed a few kilos. Be it an Indian get-up or western gear, Vidya was hell bent to look hideous. Although B-town’s favourite tailor Manish Malhotra tried his utmost to make the lady look glam, he just couldn’t make her look right. And all the lady earned was notoriety for her looks. In an age, where the only size that matters is ‘zero’, Vidya Balan reminds of well rounded 70’s heroines. A true blast from the past! Ameesha Patel So, she made a comeback of sorts this year, but going by her recently developed sense of style, we only wish she hadn’t. Showcasing her thunderous thighs in ultra flimsy dresses, here is one B-town starlet, who even failed the bikini. She is probably the only lass, who could have stripped down to a two-piece and yet let dowdy Rani Mukerji steal the show, who looked equally nauseating in her gaudy Mary Poppins replica of an outfit. From a fancy bungalow to a new beau, if only style could be purchased, Ameesha would have had it all. But like they say, not everything is for sale. Class is something that you are just born with… Mallika Sherawat She has got the ‘oomph’ factor but a ‘blah’ taste in dressing, to say the least. Wonder why the lady looks good only in a bikini? Because that’s the only thing she wears right. Tank tops, shredded dresses, lousy patterns that shout loud for attention - Mallika is bent upon turning her every outfit into a ‘put the pieces together’ puzzle. This ‘Murder’ bombshell could in fact claim lives with her whacky sense of styling. The naughty hottie, who has been trying hard to abandon her item girl image, is yet to figure out that it’s her wannabe style sense that exposes her BTM (Bhenji Trying to be Mod) side. A little piece of advice - mystery is the spice of life. And we all know you have got the abs, so just stop cutting such big holes in your outfit to flaunt them. The problem is not with what she shows but that she shows too much. Luckily for us, ever since the global downturn has adversely affected Bollywood, not much moolah is coming Mallika’s way. As a result, we don’t get to see much of her these days. Now that’s what we call a blessing in disguise. Thank god for small mercies! Rani Mukerji She is the Rani of bad dressing sense. In fact if there is one lady who personifies fashion fiasco, it has to be Rani Mukerji. Sorry for being cynical but take one look at her off-screen costumes or for that matter onscreen too and you’ll agree. So, she got the Yash Raj banner around her little finger (courtesy beau Aditya Chopra) but shouldn’t the banner be a little more concerned about the face that represents them in more ways than just films. If Vidya Balan is a designer’s worst nightmare, Rani Mukerji too is very capable of giving a stylist sleepless nights. Had it not been too rude to poke fun on close friends at live award ceremonies by stating the obvious truth, SRK would have certainly delighted us all by handing one of his famous ‘nareal’ awards to Rani. With her small bulky frame, gaudy taste in clothes, and awful choice of colour – her name ‘Rani’ (Queen) surely sounds very ironical. Rakhi Sawant Not that we care much about what she wears or doesn’t wear; nevertheless her painstaking effort of going under the knife, has earned her a position in this list. Looking at Rakhi, we cannot help but agree that there is not much that a poor cosmetic surgeon can do. No amount of plastic surgeries or facial nip tucks could turn this industry bimbo into desi diva. What’s more she continues to amuse us with her tacky quotes, shrieking voice and plunging neckline dresses exposing her changeable silicones. And we would love to leave her alone just that she doesn’t want us to. She doesn’t forget to remind us that any publicity is good. Well we are happy to oblige. Aishwarya Rai Bachchan It’s true Aishwarya Rai is just too pretty otherwise the lady would have some tough time explaining her sense of style. The moment an admirer’s eyes moves beyond her gorgeous face, what he sees is horrifying. Her clothes appear to have been crafted to ward off bad omen as she has been spotted in some of the most eye popping outrageous attires. An ex-Miss World, who is endowed with good histrionic skills, Aishwarya Rai almost fits the Bachchan ‘Bahu’ bill. Well we say almost, as a classy sense of style just eludes this green-eyed lass. Being the unofficial brand ambassador of the nation, her outfits at some rave international events have often put many of us to shame. Making us wonder as to what was she thinking, when the nation’s pride was at stake? Abhishek Bachchan Keeping close company to his better half, Abhishek Bachchan is not far behind when it comes to dressing debacles. The unshaven brawny look that he has been sporting ever since his bachelorhood days makes our skin crawl. And just when we thought that he could possibly not go any worse, best buddy Goldie Behl proved us all wrong when he turned him into a gold clad superhero in the film ‘Rona’ errr ‘Drona’. The actor, who is bent upon following his daddy’s footsteps, seems to have got only his father’s style quotient right- i.e. of a 70-year-old man. Govinda Now what do we say? After spending decades in the glitzy world of glamour and fashion, Chi Chi refuses to observe the basic etiquette and the dress code expected from a celebrity. He is the star of the masses and is solely responsible for damaging the propitious style sense of his loyalist fans. But no blaming the star here, his looks fail him even in the most exquisite attires as his ‘coolie’ avatar remains intact. To his respite, we say that he can still pull of the ‘Coolie No 1’ role. Uday Chopra Even with all his money and family name, this Chopra scion is one fashion disaster. Sporting tight tees and equally tight jeans, the man actor could model for spandex on any given day. Last seen in ‘Dhoom 2’, the actor perfectly essayed the role of a ‘tapori’ but guess the style statement just stuck to him. And it’s about time, someone told him to get rid of those ‘Bugs Bunny’ teeth. Vivek Oberoi There is something about Ash. Be it Salman or Vivek, every man who dared to love and lose this stunner has had his destiny doomed. Though Sallu’s experiences with previous girlfriends helped him move on quick, Vivek seems to miss the bus year after year. He is ‘single’ and ‘struggling’ and those are two scary words for any actor. But no blaming anyone else here - it’s all his doing. Once thought to be a promising star, the actor seems to be suffering from post breakup syndrome. And going by his tacky rather scary look, it seems he is hell bent upon bagging the title of a man ‘destroyed in love’. If looks could kill, Vivek Oberoi with his untidy beard and Tarzan like locks, would have claimed many lives by now. One line for him – let bygones be bygone, mate and take better care of yourself.

Mirror mirror on the wall...

In an age, when the entire nation is raving about Aamir’s 8-pack abs, Kareena’s size-zero figure, Akshay’s hot-bod toned to perfection and John Abraham’s cute butt, Bollywood celebrities have become the latest authority on fashion <i>gyan</i>.